MJF coined a tangible relatable definition for the Parkinson Disease. It is when you can control position of one tenth of your body and cannot comprehend what other nine tenths are doing. Therefore, you are always stuck in a circle of basically catching yourself together. Even when you are sitting and holding onto a chair or grabbing the desk by its side, your body tenths slip away from you.

I was driving the car the other day and my phone played ‘Earth Angel‘ song which definitely reminded me of the prophetic scene of the ‘Back to the Future‘ movie when Marty McFly falls down and begins to slowly wane out of existence. I got back home and I decided to re-read Michael’s memoirs to recharge my optimism batteries.

Here is what I rediscovered in his book this time:

PD is a type of an illness that one does not die from. People die with Parkinson’s, not per se because of it. Having a degenerative disease while maintaining consciousness is a kind of a nightmare that you cannot escape from. With Michael, he went through hiding the diagnosis from the public for a decade, but then it robbed him of his staging career by his late thirties / early forties. This is a retirement that happened way too sooner than it should have.

I guess I had a similar experience with being handed an ugly prognosis on my own illness at roughly the same age as Michael. Though I had my hard-of-hearing handed to me since birth, it was not until my late twenties when an annual check with the doctor went the way I did not want or expect. As my audiologist looked over my latest test and compared with a string of previous ones, she could not avoid seeing the deteriorating trend of a progressing hearing loss. So, I was given maybe ten years more of productive career.

Michael J Fox has used up his decade to have kids, to pursue the movies career and then to start up the MJF Foundation for the research of the Parkinson Disease. I used up my decade to have kids, to grow into a top manager position and to become a professor. When one is told that maybe ten years more are left of a truly productive life, you should get going fast. And that is what happened.

However, MJF had it way worse. He caught some nasty falls, breaking an arm. He got diagnosed with a spinal tumor, had surgery which usually takes 12 to 24 month to recover. And he had his second retirement, when he understood that memory loss is also taking place, so that even voicing a scripted dialogue becomes a formidable task.

I guess I had it better, since my hearing loss stopped its decline and I was given an opportunity to pursue my career forward the way I wanted it and planned for it. Like MJF, I had shifted my mind in valuing every day of my life more. Unlike MJF, I got a kind extension to live it with the same quality as the day before. Both of us were living with an explicit recognition of human’s body mortality and an expiration date to it since our late twenties.

Which findings and coping mechanisms, that Michael had, resonated with me the most?

First, your family, your friends and your home are the safe havens you can rely upon. It is more with your dear ones, than the house that you live in. Your kids will support you regardless, while the building that you live in, albeit it provides protection from the inclement weather, it still has dangers like stairs which will inevitably provide an opportunity to fall down and break an arm. Still, having family and your own place is a huge morality booster.

Second, you are your own best friend. Take care of your body, protect your spirit and keep up your drive. Every one of us has a bad year, disastrous year, the one that we’d wished never ever was. It is our determination to overcome that matters. For that we need to do something meaningful that changes the world, since this things add importance to our lives. Find that something that gives you the reason to push through and follow that something.

Third, realizing that we are mortal is actually liberating. We are polluted with various superstitions, fake shame, and other internal barriers and limitations. Why coming out is hard? Why should it be hard at all? Why admitting that you have something different in your life should make you a castaway. For MJF, coming out meant he could have his Foundation started. For me, coming out meant I am at ease telling the people that I’m hard of hearing and will be asking them to repeat their sentences from time to time. But also that they don’t need to speak any louder or make any additional effort as long as I am looking at their faces lip-reading what they say.

Life may give us a strong hand of cards or a weak hand. But we always have something. Use it.

If you have no ideas where to start, consider having a cat for a start. Cats are magical.